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Desc:Argument via guitar strap
Category:Religious, Advertisements
Tags:satan, Christian, subliminal, Illuminati, hyundai
Submitted:kamlem
Date:04/24/14
Views:1521
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Comment count is 17
SteamPoweredKleenex
How are satanists seen as being worse than and endless supply of hipsters?
Scrimmjob
Question. Has anyone here met someone who was a freemason, that wasn't a complete and harmless dildo?
exy
I was surprised to learn, after his death, that my grandfather had been a level 30-something and then had dropped out. None of his stories had ever hinted at it. It turned out my uncle had also been a member and had also dropped out. This guy gave new meaning to "taciturn" in general. I don't know if they dropped out at the same time, had separate "mason arcs," or what. All he'd tell me was he'd "just lost interest."

Back to grandpa, maybe it's like another story I heard told about him at his memorial about when he'd first moved to the area. They'd met a circle of people, and started going to their parties or whatever, but then stopped going. "They just keep talking about the same things."

I expect a masonic temple is more boring than church.

exy
Then there was the masonic teacher at my high school. Shortly after I graduated he went down for boning female students. Did teach a pretty good Beowulf, though.

EvilHomer
My father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were all Masons. Their arcs were similiar to exy's relatives, as were the arcs of all my dad's Mason buddies who were interesting enough to keep in touch with. It was boring, so they stopped going.

The problem with the Masons isn't that they're Satanic, it's that they're not Satanic *enough*. Maybe a couple centuries ago, when it was either hang out with the Masons or sit around in a drafty candle-lit house all night, it was sexy and mysterious, but nowadays it's just not that interesting. I'm sure if they were deflowering maidens or sacrificing goats my dad would have stayed.

EvilHomer
Also, a common complaint is that the rituals are really childish and stupid. Picture a Vampire LARP run by sixty year-old Mormon accountants.

Chancho
Hey, I'm a master Mason and I resent that comment!

But yeah, it can be boring. It also takes a lot of time which isn't easy for someone with a family. I enjoy it.

Scrimmjob
I know one guy who is about my age who is a mason. He plays guitar in a band, and I really like his guitar style actually. He has been setting up shows at the local freemasons temple, which is cool, because it is a really interesting building. The guy however, is kind of a nard in my opinion.

EvilHomer
Hey Chancho, are you really a Mason? I've been thinking of joining, just to make my grandpa happy, but I'm a bit stuck on the whole "having to profess a belief in a Higher Power" requirement.

Would Princess Celestia count? Do you think they'd mind?

Chancho
Yes, I am really a Freemason.

Yes, you need to believe in a higher power. Nobody will press you on the details of what that higher power is. But if you aren't sincere in your belief in a higher power, you won't get much out of Freemasonry. I won't go into details, but just reading and acting out the rites won't mean much to you if you aren't prepared. You can buy books that detail the rituals of Freemasonry but they mean nothing until the right people experience them.

I would say that if you aren't sincere, there are other fraternal organizations that are better suited to you.

memedumpster
Out here, Freemasons are honored by the city for decades of charity work with children and the disenfranchised. Friends of mind sculpted some statues for them.

Chancho
Helping widows and orphans is an important part of Masonic charities. We also run numerous other charities, such as driving services for people with cancer. Shriners are famous for their charity. Charity is fundamental to Masonry, and charity means not just giving money or time to others.

Scrimmjob
Alright, soory guys. It was a bit of a cock move to call masons harmless dildos, it's a pretty broad generalization to make based on the one guy I know. The point I guess I was trying to make is, when was the last time the freemasons did anything sketchy or underhanded. The only example I can think of is the really old story about some guy getting lynched or disappearing, for threatening to release their secrets.

sasazuka
I know black-and-white checkerboard square patterns can be a Freemason thing, but I think they can also be a "literally the most simple pattern possible" thing. I mean, there's a reason it's an ancient pattern, because it's easy to do (once you've figured out how to make squares) and it's really obvious and eye-catching.

And if someone points out to me a legitimate Freemason symbol (i.e. most of the streetmap in Washington D.C.), I'm pretty much, "Okay, so what, it's a Freemason symbol. I don't have a problem with Freemasons, they seem like decent people, so why should I care?"
Riskbreaker
THEY CONTROL THE NFL! THE OSCARS! and......not really sure either what's the point of "exposing" them.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Apparently people with shitloads of money on the boards of megacorps are too obvious as rulers of the world via satanic means.

It's the fat guys in fezzes on go-karts in the Easter Parade. THAT'S where our reptilian masters hide!

EvilHomer
A lot of the people on those boards are Freemasons. What the Great Unwashed don't realize, though, is that the Freemasons are actually DEFENDING the planet against the Reptilians. See, the Masons guard The Grail, which is in actuality an ancient mobile suit of tremendous power, left on our planet by Jesus, Crown Prince of Arcturus IX. The five composite animal mecha that make up The Grail are given to the world's five richest Masons, who keep the mecha safe until the time comes to combine their power and destroy the latest threat to Earth.

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