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Desc:I won't have an appetite for a few days.
Category:Horror, Sports
Tags:portland, Gollum, burrito, molly schuyler, im gonna be sick
Submitted:yogarfield
Date:05/20/15
Views:1310
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Comment count is 42
Lef
I would only experience shame if I did that.
Lef
And deep burning sensations for the next 24 hours.

jangbones
this is a crime against food and eating
infinite zest
I'm fucking doing this on Saturday. I've survived spicier and have my picture on a wall of a wall to prove it. Not even the Man vs Food guy could do it. Sorry Molly, but it is now officially on
RedHood
God Bless your dumper. Tell us how it went ok?

infinite zest
I plan on filming it :)


infinite zest
Yeah! I've got a meeting really close to there. I've never heard of it but I t's about 200 blocks from where I live; I always thought the spiciest was a place with home made ghost pepper sauce that's self serve. It's white and I remember a dad coming in there with his maybe 5 year old kid, telling him it was cheese sauce. Not surprisingly the kid was crying, and my place in hell is reserved from trying to hide the laughter that was building up inside of me. Back in high school my best friend and I would do all the food challenges. He was quantity and I was spicy. Between the two of us we have conquered many food related things, never for money always for love cover up and say goodnight!

yogarfield
I would say just stick to ¿Porque No?, but I went there a few months ago and got terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE food poisoning.

infinite zest
Por que no is so overrated and way overpriced. I live right behind it and I still go to Gorditos up the street. They do have really good veggie tacos tho, something that I'll have to call Allens about. But if you go to the tanker bar up the street u don't have to wait in that stupid line, as long as you know someone who works at tanker. Fuck it I don't care they have R type arcade.

infinite zest
I am really curious tho. The record I've got at Salvador Molly's is for fastest consumption, and there's no time limit. I won't lie, tears were flowing like wine for 45 minutes and that was just habanero fritters. But it was a fuckload of habaneros in the fritters. A fuckload of ghost peppers is different: I went to this spice shop that lets you put any of their spices and salts on crackers or popcorn and had a few concentrated grains of ghost pepper salt on a single cracker and my mouth wasn't too happy. But, I've had "ghost pepper" beer and plenty of hot sauce, and even tried a fry from Wendy's "Ghost Pepper Fries" and it's seriously less spicy than eating jalapeneos from a jar. So I guess it's like anything else. You wouldn't drink a bottle of everclear straightup but you'd probably drink it if it was mixed with a bunch of orange tang in your bathtub, or at least I would, or did.. anyway I'm fucking ready, Molly! Also, I'm kind of into a girl who likes the spicy food, and likes anarchy. I assume you like anarchy because of your hoodie. If you must know, Molly, I was on a tinder date with a girl who could not tolerate spicy food. That's more of a deal breaker for me than "guess what I've got a penis now and 5 kids that I didn't tell you about." Just saying, you'll probably win but I think you're cool is all.

infinite zest
Personal life

She is originally from Bellevue, Nebraska. She currently lives in Sacramento, California where she works as a bartender and server at an Applebee's restaurant.[3] She is married and has four children.[3]

Whatever!

infinite zest
And what a whatever. This will be a regular triumph of the will. Take that Riefenstahl, you dead stupid nazi fucking whore bitch cunt. I can do this and I'm taking the phrase back from your cold dead cunt filmmaker hands. Fuck nazis. Spicy food's good.

badideasinaction
I wish you luck on this one. Sounds like the temperature is the first hurdle, not just the spice.

At home I'm growing ghost peppers and Trinidad scorpion peppers, among others. I'm not sure what I'm going to be able to do with all of them, but it'll be a fun exercise in spreading pain to my friends.

infinite zest
Yeah there's ghost peppers growing in the back yard of the place I'm living now. The plan is to make, bottle and market hot sauce with them but I'm not sure how much longer I'm living there. I'm curious tho: like I said I've had habanero sauce/salsa that's thousands of times more spicy than ghost pepper salsa you can buy at the store. There's one brand, Ms. Renfros, which I decided to buy when I had a sore throat. I just ate the entire jar of salsa with a spoon to see if I could, and it was pretty mild, just like the wendy's french fry. I'm curious to see. If they make it vegan, that means no cheese, no sour cream, and possibly no absorbent meat; who knows if they have tofu? So I could be in trouble but I'll try it anyway.

That guy
infinite_zest.poetv.blogspot.com

badideasinaction
Yeah, my past hot sauce blend was Habanero, Jalapeno and a few other peppers for filler, plus basil, garlic and green onions. Fermented that for a while and it made a hot and flavorful sauce. I may need alternate uses since adding ghost peppers will pretty much make it all heat, no flavor. I'm tempted to can my own salsa as a way to dilute the power of it.

infinite zest
I'd go for it. A friend of mine who sadly passed away a few years ago made this awesome habanero hot sauce called Secret Aardvark, which was sort of an inside joke. Anyway he spent years just sharing it with himself and his friends, and was finally convinced to bottle it and start selling it at farmers markets. Now you can find it in pretty much every restaurant and supermarket. Of all the hot sauces on the market, it's one of the few that I feel doesn't suck, and the world needs more of that, and less of the suck.

infinite zest
Oh nevermind, it's not nationwide, just Portland and Seattle, and one place in Williamsburg. But I'm pretty sure I've seen in in Milwaukee.

Oscar Wildcat
Yes, how to reduce the amount of capsicum while preserving the natural flavor of the pepper. All seeds out, for starters. Fermenting or canning can help. Roasting or burning also helps, and can develop some flavors, but watch out! Your place will smell like a demonstration if you're not careful. An outdoor gas fired grill is very handy for this. Some soaked woodchips and rosemary in there as well for a sweet smoke...

Meerkat
What the fuck is the point? You are supposed to taste it. That's why it's spicy. Spicy is awesome.
SolRo
some people just like the pain + self-induced chemical high

somedongus
I call bullshit. Maybe if they followed her around for the next hour for some kind of proof that that shit actually stayed down, but I highly doubt that it did.
Rosebeekee
What was the point of spending a minute and a half stabbing it? Also, I thought you weren't supposed to drink water with spicy foods?
infinite zest
Yeah you beat me to it. Maybe the ice cubes if it was physically too hot, otherwise, just eat the fucking thing.

Lef
is the water supposed to help the substance slide down?

yogarfield
She dices it up to release the steam, and ice is to cool it all down. This is so that she can disgustingly spoon several pounds of burrito down her gullet on film. She then takes the footage and drives around Somalia in a projector truck and laughs at starving children.

Then she takes a ginormous shit.

badideasinaction
She's a competitive eater, I'll trust her strategy on that one. But watching a few other attempts on video the people were saying that the burrito is searing hot (temperature, not spice) so trying to eat it fast is not a lot of fun, spices and volume aside.

spikestoyiu
Everything is done for speed eating, not for the spiciness of the burrito. Chopped up to make it easier to eat and the water is to rocket it down her throat.

infinite zest
Yeah I was about to correct myself on that. But the water will probably double the burn. It's just weird that I've never heard of this place until just now. I don't really watch shows like Food Network and such, but usually if a restaurant in Portland is featured on a show or is famous for something it's kind of a well-known thing. Like that John Candy movie The Great Outdoors with the steak challenge where he has to eat the bones. I'm not even sure if it's the same place but everyone assumes it's the Old Country Kitchen with the 72 ounce steak challenge. The other place that I mentioned above is pretty much world famous for its spicy fritters too. There's really not much going on out here culturally so everyone talks about food and whatnot.

Rosebeekee
Ah, okay. I'm not that familiar with competitive eating, but I thought that when it comes to spicy foods the goal was more to just finish the meal, not speed through it.

Hooker
I thought I was the only one who ate at restaurants like that.
ashtar.
just spray pepperspray down your food hole, human
TeenerTot
Well that was disgusting.
chumbucket
Although I love the flavor of a good hot pepper every once in a while, it's the physical after-effects that just punches me to the floor. We tend to forget that the hot pepper has evolved to keep creatures from eating them. Humans just don't care, we're better than other mammals.
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
But does she swallow?
EvilHomer
God damn, she's hot.

EvilHomer
You don't think she's comely? I do. She's like a punk rock Anne Coulter, stuffing her face with red dripping ghost-pepper sauce. Very confident, utterly focused. The belch at the end seals the deal.

Oscar Wildcat
If you licked her pussy, it quite likely would burn your tongue. Caliente!

EvilHomer
Dude, gross, and also, not cool. We'll stick to fully-clothed intercrural dry-humping, like God intended, thank you very much.

CIWB
She looks like someone who was given a lot of Mountain Dew in her baby bottle.

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