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Someone call Negativland.
So many choice bits.
One of my favorites.
woman - Did I say a fuckin' word?
Ernie - No, but you gave me that god damn look!
If you put some jazz behind this, it could almost be a Ken Nordine track.
This is ASMR to me.
This would make for some great micspam.
"If I had a horse I'd buy it oats and fuck it."
I think the sentiment stands on its own as a timeless eternal truth.