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Desc:Pay attention. This may be the only time you see a marine playing chess.
Category:Advertisements, Military
Tags:Chess, marines, marine, sword
Submitted:eatenmyeyes
Date:08/29/07
Views:4458
Rating:
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Resubmit:RockBolt

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Comment count is 26
Caminante Nocturno - 2007-08-29
Marines don't do things like this in real life.
futurebot - 2007-08-29
-1 star for the description. Really, this commercial stands on its own as an awesome self-parody, it doesn't need help with the MAREENS R STOOPID schtick.
eatenmyeyes - 2007-08-29
Are you saying that you have seen one doing something cerebral?

futurebot - 2007-08-29
Yes. I have a good friend in the Marines who kicks ass in chess. And if you talked that kind of smack to him, he'd stab you with his broadsword until you disappeared in a flash of light and sparkles.

eatenmyeyes - 2007-08-29
I humbly apologize. However the description must remain, as altering it now would be tantamount to denying my mistake.

Unmerciful Crushing Force - 2007-08-29
I've seen Marines kick ass at Magic: The Gathering too. For that matter, I had somebody in my high school (with a kick-ass GPA I must add) who joined the Marines within months of the war starting.

He got killed in an ambush during his first weeks of training. So these five stars go in memory of that lad.

Giant lava monster is the better ad though.

Adramelech - 2007-08-29
Seriously though, tactical combat is not exactly the antithesis of cerebral. It's kind of annoying when people imply that war is a bunch of dumb jocks throwing sticks at each other.

SharoKham - 2007-08-29
You could change it to something about marines being whiny little princesses.

eatenmyeyes - 2007-08-29
Seriously though, willingly taking part in a stand-up fight is pretty much the opposite of smart behavior.

Unmerciful Crushing Force - 2007-08-29
I hate invoke Godwin's Law but...

baleen - 2007-08-29

If there were any marines around then there would be a string of hilarious "come to Iraq and I'll show you cerebral you little faggot" comments and it would be great but there aren't so we'll just have to settle for anime fans talking about marines that they once knew.

revdrew - 2007-08-29
Going after that all important SCA member demographic, I see.
Arcadia - 2007-09-03
I was going to say "drunk LARPING gone too far" but SCA works too :)

Adramelech - 2007-08-29
I was going to give this a four because I like the giant lava monster better, but then I realized the knight actually moves properly on the board. Always remember attention to detail when you're making propaganda for 12 year-olds.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2007-08-29
Enter joke about how the black guy always gets the shaft here.
Camonk - 2007-08-29
Fuck you guys, you can argue about marines all you want. I'm going to join the fucking marines. This commercial is that awesome.
coprolalia - 2007-08-29
I changed my mind once they told me I didn't get a horse.
Knuckles - 2007-08-29
I changed my mind once they told me I didn't wear plate armor and make my enemies disappear.
Afgh - 2007-08-29
Things I learned:

1. A Marine is a Knight, not a Pawn as you might expect
2. Enemies of the United States are dumb enough to lose their Queen to a Knight
Hooper_X - 2010-04-10
The Army are the pawns, duh. The Marines are the knights, the Navy are the rooks, and the Air Force are a bunch of sissies.

anvill - 2007-08-29
The Marine's enemies don't sound like they're dying so much as powering down their lightsabers.
Konversekid - 2007-08-29
I don't feel the US really need people to defend them against giant black witches.
ebola - 2007-10-03
Condoleeza Rice ring a bell FUCKER! Condoleeeeezzzza!

Pie Boy - 2007-09-24
WHY THE BLACK GUYS GOTS TA LOSE?
klingerbgoode - 2007-12-16
i remember this!
Spastic Avenger - 2008-03-24
The logic behind the chess metaphor doesn't work if you make one piece do everything. It also doesnt work with the individualistic message given by the marine's recruiting slogan.

WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
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