|Killer Joe |
I can't even begin to start commenting on this mess. I mean... god dammit.
Personal favorite is the 360 rotation on all the characters. And especially the ones that change guns during the pause. It is like they said "well the matrix did it once and it was good. If we do it 10x we will be 10x as good".
|Aubrey McFate |
I thought it couldn't get any better/worse, and then 7:21 hit
A modern-day classic
|a flaming monkey |
5 stars for the asian girl in the america spandex.
Ah yes, Liberty Squidhead.
I think Uwe Boll more or less gloats somewhere in the commentary about killing off the only remotely likable character.
This movie, like all Uwe movies, is awesome. On the commentary track for this movie, they said the technology for the spinning around shots was banned after this movie after it was deemed to be incredibly unsafe and irresponsible. Apparently, they made a platform with a bar that comes up on the edge with a camera fixed to it, and then they speed up the bar to incredible speeds, to the point that if the actors moved more than a couple feet or so, they'd be instantly mangled.
Also, I love how the actors punch their hands out when they fire their guns.
Hooker: I was sure that was total bullshit until I actually looked it up:
"In movies like House of the Dead, the actor was placed on a stationary center of a large turntable with a single camera. The turntable, and the attached camera which is loaded with hi-speed film used for slow motion, spin around the actor at incredible speed, allowing motion to continue in slow motion, much like the Matrix technique. House of the Dead was the last film to use this method, as the risk of actors being hit by the speeding camera was too high."
The Matrix used multiple stationary cameras from what I remember.
Yes, and some guy got a patent on that particular technique, hence the other less-clever methods which later directors turned to.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Do you have any idea how many "Das Boot" references this movie's boat captain inspired?
Can you even imagine?
It could be worse, but I'm not sure how.
Its impossible to pick out the worst part of this mess.
Apparently, no one cared that the Asian hooker died as they didn't lift a finger to help her. I suppose it served her right for Kung-Fu kicking instead of using her damn gun.
Also, I love how some of the background extras don't even bother to look or act at all like zombies.
Seriously. Things like that are what make the movie as great as it is.
There's one scene where some douchebag is trying to get laid in a tent, and he loudly exclaims that he has to use the washroom. So, he just stands up in the tent with his back to the camera and there's an unzipping sound. The girl has to tell him to go outside.
The whole production is just brilliant from start to finish. Also, that douchebag has gone on to have a role in every Uwe Boll movie since.
I saw this movie in the theaters; it was between this and Kill Bill, and I distinctly remember us debating whether we wanted zombies or kung fu that day. Words can not express what occured in the theater that night; to this day, I can't believe I made it out alive. You know how in films, when the audience doesn't like a movie, they throw shit at the screen? The screen ran red with Dr Pepper that day.
Five stars because, as much as I hated this movie, it was one of the most memorable experiences of my movie-going life. But I'll be damned if I'm going to watch these clips.
Does the film have some plot device to explain the video game footage?
Nope, the wireframe game footage just springs out at you and keeps right on coming until the movie grinds to a stop. The only thing the film bothers to try and explain is why there are zombies on the island; it's something about an insane Catholic priest, and they give up trying to explain that a minute later.
This is only slightly worse than Kill Bill.
Really? Honestly? This is what happens in the actual movie?
OK, I finally broke down and watched the clip... and actually, this is probably the highlight of the film. The "Zombie Sushi bar" part was, n my opinion, the only remotely entertaining bit the entire time. I was sort of hoping it'd be bits and pieces from the rest of the movie- like the inexplicable rave scene, the scrawny chick who gets puked on and takes off her shirt, resulting in a grand total of zero excited teenaged audience members, or the BEEG EXPLODINK HOUSE SCENE- but you really don't need to see any more. The epic zombie duel was at once the worst and most enjoyable part of that entire shitfest.
The movie is like war: an hour and a half of mind-numbing boredom, punctuated by a few minutes of hell.
Dude, the movie has inexplicable zombie conquistadors.
Way to make zombies and exploding heads boring, Uwe.
People who claim to perversely enjoy this movie are fucking liars.
"Mit out quality!"
7:21-7:48 is pretty much the entire movie in one small, tolerable chunk. How thoughtful of Uwe!
"I'm keeping mine for myself!"
He is the selfish character. Does he redeem himself before he dies?
The fact that Uwe Boll didn't end up just being know as 'The House of the Dead Guy' is a testament to how terrible his other movies were. Other people have ruined their careers with much better movies.
It takes some kind of talent to make slaughtering zombies look this boring, especially during those 360's
"hooHUUM I guess I'll pull the trigger..."
In comparison to alone in the dark this is Citizen Kane.
So this must be that "hip hop music" I've been hearing so much about...
Hands down, the WORST movie I have ever seen. Note that I have not seen any other Uwe Boll films, however. My question is this: HOW DOES HE KEEP GETTING WORK?
IIRC, it's thanks to some nifty German tax laws, which gives companies big tax write-offs if they invest in profitless films. Basically, as long as he keeps making crap, he can keep making movies.
Huff Post has a great blog on this phenomenon.
This clip had me on the edge of my seat... hunched over with my head cradled in my hands.
The video game inspired Uwe to translate "party fights its way inside" into a 10 minute sequence.
Isn't this the one where Uwe hired hookers because they work for cheaper than actors per hour?
If I were 6 six years old I'd really like t his movie.
Boll has an unreal talent for making dumb action sequences.
Can't wait to see what he does to Hunter: the Reckoning.
Remember when zombies where actually scary and not just used as faceless bullet-fodder for the protagonists to blow away using different types of heavy weaponry?
Also, it's a well known fact that being a raver automatically imbues you with immediate proficiency with all types of small arms, including hatchets.
Five stars of awful.
But in a side note, it reminds me of my mom. House of the Dead was her favorite game, and just about every afternoon she'd say, "Hon, can you hook up the thingy so I can shoot some zombies?"
|Scrotum H. Vainglorious |
Could never figure out how his shit never went straight to DVD in the first place.
So you see even if you have weapons that never run out of ammo, inexplicable kung fu and marksmanshop skills, and the ability to slow down time you'll still get killed by zombies that mostly don't do anything. Also grenades just float from ones hand and require no throwing
How did that deer slug turn into a bunch of nine millimeter bullets?
it's like a course in cinematography.Exactly what not to do.
Let's have a speeded-up recap of a scene we just saw.
Let's change to a completely different music style halfway through the fight.
Let's have a character holding an entirely different weapon when she turns her head.Let's do it again.
Let's have someone jump up in the air to fire her shotgun.
Also i cannot believe that the black girl cocking the shotgun in the beginning made no noise whatsoever. Shick-chick. come on, Uwe, it's sexy.Shick-chick.
Also also, just like in a videogame, no matter how many weapons you have, a locked door stops you every time.
What do you mean, out of ammo? Just shoot off the screen!
My head hurts. That Asian chick could do high kicks and she loved America, why kill her? I think I have a brain tumor, now.
Where's the virtua guns =( ?
(is that game footage ?)
This was even worse than I remembered it. Wow.
I think they managed to use EVERY single bit of spinning still-frame 360 degree angled crap. Every last second.
This isn't the most entertainingly bad movie I've ever seen, but it's definitely one of the most innovatively so. I mean, cutting to video game footage? "Game over" sequences? Inspired, Boll. Inspired.
If I was a member of faculty at a Film School, I'd buy these films.
I'd have a goddamn month dedicated to finding at least 100 moviemaking flaws in his films, as they were rolling. Now that's valuable education.
This movie is shitty, but quite boring for the most part.
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