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Comment count is 62
Jack Dalton - 2009-09-29

Smart girl... she can sell that mac for twice as much as that pc... her parents can buy her a little more time before she does even worse things to support her meth addiction.

Hooker - 2009-09-29

Is this real?


Sick Man - 2009-09-30

This is nothing. Did you ever catch the "Middle Seat" one?

Rosencrantz - 2009-09-30

I just checked that one out and... yes. It's cringe inducing, slowly paced and awkward.


Richmond - 2009-10-01

Wow, I just checked that one out and thought he was the PC guy for a second. "Ugh, look at all the peripherals I have to lug around wi-- I mean, that I can use for creative Apple-type things. Aren't they great?"

Camonk - 2009-09-29

Finally, some damaged goods for ol' Camonk!

Dirtchamber - 2009-09-30

Five stars for you, sir.

THA SUGAH RAIN - 2009-09-29

This is very for real. More Ellen Feiss is available here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O38-XqqWryo

Ashenblade - 2009-09-30

From the youtube comments of one of her other videos

horsesflu (6 hours ago)
i use a typewriter inked by my own good feeling i can go anywhere while you faggots just sit on your gay machines getting MUCH GAYER MAC AND PC SUCK DAD BALLS FAGGS

StanleyPain - 2009-09-29

Oh yeah, these are real. I remember the "I was working on my term paper and I was too fucking stupid to SAVE IT so I guess Mac is better!" one.

RocketBlender - 2009-09-30

That was my first thought on seeing this commercial too.

So if a mac randomly crashes, it saves everything you didn't bother to?

Walker - 2009-09-30

In 2009 though, yeah... OSX is pretty good about auto-saving within most applications and backing things up automatically via Time Machine. Not that it mattered back whenever the hell this commercial came out.

SolRo - 2009-09-30

I know Word does, but that's on those evil PCs, that only pudgy office workers use.

Smellvin - 2009-09-30

VIM has backups too and you never have to use a mouse. :D

Busby Berkeley - 2009-09-30

Cheap, pudgy office workers with a persecution complex, yeah.

Oktay - 2009-09-30

Emacs is better than vi.

Doctor Arcane - 2009-09-30

Real men use 'ed'

Man Who Fights Like Woman - 2009-09-30

Welp, the tags beat us all to the obvious comment.

CaptainJesusHood - 2009-09-30

She was 14 in this? Well, I.... Hrmmm.

fatatty - 2009-09-30

Well I guess that makes most of us pedophiles or something. I'd at least smoke a joint with her.

THA SUGAH RAIN - 2009-09-30

Not enough to make me rethink my opinion.

Man Who Fights Like Woman - 2009-09-30

Well, slap my ass and call me Svidrigaylov!

Dirtchamber - 2009-09-30

Directed by: Roman Polanski.

mouser - 2009-09-30

She claimed she was on benadryl at the time.

I'm not rating this because this is frickin old news.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2009-09-30

Technically, pedophiles are attracted to prepubescent children. To be attracted to pubescent teenaged girls isn't exactly a perversion. It's just... a bad idea.

Personally, I'd like to get a look at her mother.

Big Beef Burritos Supreme - 2009-09-30

It all falls apart when you realize at some point you inevitably have to converse with her.

Big Beef Burritos Supreme - 2009-09-30

Come to think of it, I've probably had worse conversations :(

Where's the rolling papers?

Hooker - 2009-09-30

So, just to be clear here: John Holmes Motherfucker is a pedophile.

Doctor Arcane - 2009-09-30

I think the technical term is ephebophile

Syd Midnight - 2009-10-06

I think Ellen Feiss was one of the first internet memes I remember. No wait that was ATE MY BALLS. OK so one of the first.

pastorofmuppets - 2009-09-30

Too soon.

THA SUGAH RAIN - 2009-09-30


Keefu - 2009-09-30

you're boring

pastorofmuppets - 2009-09-30

this thing was on like a month ago, I think there's even references to it in some of the health care reform bills.

THA SUGAH RAIN - 2009-09-30

youre talking aboslute nonsense. this thing is years old.

Sick Man - 2009-09-30

I'm Ellen Feiss, and I'm a student?

glasseye - 2009-09-30

I'm Ellen Feiss, and I'm a retard. One mouse button is all I can handle.

Sick Man - 2009-09-30

Eat shit.

Comeuppance - 2009-09-30

This is an unfortunate (yet successful) ad campaign for a legitimately good product.

Pre-emptive response to any mouthbreathers who unwittingly stumbled upon this site waiting to troll an admitted user of Macs:
They're great if you do graphic design, edit movies/music, and don't play many games on a computer that aren't flash-based or WoW. It fits my niche perfectly, I use PCs often and without any difficulty, and I have a 360 and a Wii to cover my gaming. My computer is essentially a hub through which I use the internet and pirate/enjoy music and movies.
My computer came with a two-button mouse that I immediately replaced with a rechargable and cordless 8-button mouse.

Both Macs and PCs are fine. If you're going to get into or start an argument about which platform is "better," you're probably an asshole.

memedumpster - 2009-09-30

I have a Mac, I hate it. After using it for years I feel I've earned the right to compare it to my ten year old PC, which kicks the crap out of it. Every program that I have on it runs like an internet JAVA applet, its sound card lags making multitrack recording impossible, and Windows Movie Maker curbstomps iMovie to death and back. I refuse to be silent about how bad I got burned by buying a Mac, that would make me a shitty consumer. The mouse critique is silly, though, you can plug any off brand PC USB mouse or keyboard into the thing and it works fine, which, if you've ever priced a Mac keyboard or mouse, is the most economic thing to do.

They rock for the Internet, so long as you don't mind a wide selection of terrible browsers.

I'm probably an asshole.

Comeuppance - 2009-09-30

I have none of these problems, although, I haven't used iMovie since I got a copy of Final Cut Pro.

What have you done to your Mac? This sounds like there's a fundamental conflict between the hardware and the installed OS.
(Or you could be hilariously short on memory.)

Big Beef Burritos Supreme - 2009-09-30

I'm running 4 OSes, and out of all of them Ubuntu on an Intel Atom feels the snappiest, reminding me of what it was like to use an Amiga back in the day.

The only thing that really bothers me about OS X is the patently false implication it's somehow better than Windows even if you're not a stoned 14 year old.

THA SUGAH RAIN - 2009-09-30

8 button mouse? Jesus christ man, get a life.

twinkieafternoon - 2009-09-30

They make 8 button mouses?

What..what does each button do? You only need one and a shift key.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2009-09-30

5 stars for the clusterfuck of responses this video has inspired.

Comeuppance - 2009-09-30

Re: 8 button mouse:
I map them to different things in different games. When I was playing WoW, 6 of them were mapped to abilities/macros, different actions in FPSs, etc.
Also, the 8 buttons aren't exactly cumbersome.

http://www.amazon.com/Logitech-MX1000-Laser-Cordless-Mouse/dp/ B0002UM0JW
(The scroll wheel is a button too.)

Basically, I map them to twitch abilities or things I can't use while moving with WASD at the same time.

pastorofmuppets - 2009-09-30

I believe what Comeuppance is trying to say is that he was too much of a pussy to get the MX Revolution.

pastorofmuppets - 2009-09-30

The MX has two scroll wheels, a drink holder, as well as a smaller mouse that is used to control it. The charger is a stone sarcophagus.

Comeuppance - 2009-09-30

I was 16, man. I didn't know.


mashedtater - 2009-09-30

i will buy you a time traveling unicorn and we will go back and fix that shit.

boner - 2009-09-30

These commercials were directed by the same guy who got Robert McNamara to admit being a war criminal

Jet Bin Fever - 2009-09-30

huh huh... it was a realllllly good paper...
I like totally showed that whore fucking teacher what I thought of her and that Hamlet douchebag.

spikestoyiu - 2009-09-30

Seriously she's pretty weird looking.

Xiphias - 2009-09-30


Sean Robinson - 2009-09-30

The comments on this video are like I Love the 90s as hosted by a series of weird sexless shut ins who never actually experienced the decade in question outside of trolling pop culture products for masturbation fodder or debating which bits of office technology are better for carrying out their dull and soulless jobs.

pastorofmuppets - 2009-09-30

this is only from a few years ago.

pastorofmuppets - 2009-09-30

Crap, I just proved you right, didn't I?

Goethe and ernie - 2009-09-30

I used to go out with an American girl, I've seen the standard of intellect that a "university" education requires in the US. She could've rewritten that paper in minutes.

mashedtater - 2009-09-30


i am sure her paper was on par with the loss of the rest of lewis caroll's jabberwocky.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2010-07-31

So is that really a thing? Has anybody had a PC go beeb beeb beeb beeb and eat your paper? (Poe-News readers: feel free to substitute porno.)

She is quite lovely, in an odd way, and she plays the stoner role with perfect timing.

Vicious - 2010-10-14

John Cleese disagrees, Goethe, AND I BELIEVE HIM MORE THAN YOU

Old_Zircon - 2014-09-29

I'd forgotten all about this.

I've had stuff like what she's describing happen a few times. Always on a mac, the computers that will randomly corrupt files on your hard drive when the OS crashes.

Anyhow, since day one the Macintosh has been aimed at technophobes who want a computer that does their thinking for them (the one button mouse was chosen because they thought a two button mouse would confuse their target market too much, for example) so even though people like this aren't the only Apple customers it's a pretty honest representation of their hypthetical ideal customer.

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