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Comment count is 34
Adramelech - 2010-08-11

"These are the complaints of a tiny, irrelevant mouse clinging to the back of a lion with a jet pack."

Sounds like every other painfully contrarian Zero Punctuation "review" of a good game that made the mistake of being popular.

Five stars for Shadow of the Colossus.

fluffy - 2010-08-12

Did you actually watch the part of the review where he said that he decided he'd review a game he actually likes?

Sundry - 2010-08-11

"HERE ARE THE THINGS I LIKE. I'm going to spend 5 minutes detailing why I like a game that is already so famous for being good that it doesn't need me to toss its salad, again, but I'm going to because I can't be bothered to give my very biased opinion about something new.

Also, let me give you my totally grown up opinion about relationships."

Anaxagoras - 2010-08-12

You're an idiot. Just thought you might like that information. Could prove useful later in your life.

Caminante Nocturno - 2010-08-11

I feel personally insulted by Yahtzee's opinions and at the same time intimidated by the volume and delivery of his words. Therefore, I will take meek, indignant snipes at him whenever the opportunity arises. I will hope that my words will be perceived as snarky cynicism, and not as the bitter jealousy that they clearly are.

Also, I will cast aspersions on his love life and relationship status because I still believe that grown-ups do that sort of thing.

VoilaIntruder - 2010-08-11

Your wife (?) must be ashamed of you because you did not understand Shadow of the Colossus on the same level that I did.

Caminante Nocturno - 2010-08-11

My wife (!) can't play Shadow of the Colossus yet.

Sundry - 2010-08-11

Hey, I agree that Shadow of the Colossus is a great game.
But do you really feel the need to defend a review of a 5 year old game that got more praise than Mother Teresa?

Because it feels like dismissing the current new games in favor of reviewing an old game, which he has already praised ad nauseum, is phoning it in more than usual.

Next week he will explain to us the mechanics of HalfLife 1 and tell us why it was such a great game. I, for one, can't wait to see what great jokes he makes about how the final boss is a baby you kill while jumping on a trampoline.

Now, I'm not saying that he is doing a shit job, necessarily, but I am saying that the job is shit.
And yes, I find his stance on relationships to be ridiculous and worthy of quite a few laughs. Becoming celibate after one bad relationship makes as much sense to me as online dating by matching otherkin souls.

WHO WANTS DESSERT - 2010-08-11

"lolol ur just jelos!" is literally elementary-school level dialogue

RocketBlender - 2010-08-11

5 For Caminante. Seriously man, I missed your jokes.

fatatty - 2010-08-12

I'm jealous. He gets paid to bitch about games and have his friends do a bunch of super easy animations for him. He probably spends more time playing videogames than working. Plus he has creepy hot girls in Canada writing horrible songs about him. ITS THE AMERICAN DREAM. AND HES IN AUSTRALIA.

spikestoyiu - 2010-08-12

Yeah, I wish I could talk on the Internet.

I only dislike things because I'm jealous.

Riskbreaker - 2010-08-11

Five for the game, not for him.

La Loco - 2010-08-11

What's the beef with Yatzee? He's the most entertaining game reviewer I've seen and I agree with his opinions most of the time.

Can one of his enemies give me a better game reviewer to watch? Seems to me like the bar is set pretty low.

RocketBlender - 2010-08-12

I've got to agree with La Loco here. Yahtzee was one of the most beloved things on poe until someone decided that he hit the deadline for when things on the internet become old. Nothing's really changed, why have all the opinions?

He is still be far the most entertaining reviewer around, and bonus points for giving his honest opinion about things made or marketed by Peter Molyneux, instead of saying it's the best thing in gaming since the last thing that doucebag has made like everyone else in the industry.

Aelric - 2010-08-12

While I personally prefer the folks at Whiskey Media for reviews with jokes, I gotta say I still like the occasional Yahtzee. What most folks don't understand is that they are not owed anything. You, whoever you are, are being entertained, for free, by a dude who was lucky enough to make a living doing something he enjoys doing. Complaining about Yahtzee complaining about games is like being Yahtzee complaining about games. The reason you don't like it is because it reflects your own imperfections, and that drives you into an internet fueled frothing rage where you compare impotence on the table to see which one of you can complain more about shit that never mattered. Blah blah, you'll sputter in return. Blah blah blah blah. I don't owe you anything either.

Some of you kids do nothing but complain on this site. What are the good things in your lives? Why don't you do those instead? Honestly. The internet isn't making you folks happy, so try something else.

Sundry - 2010-08-12

And you complain about the people who complain about Yahtzee.

Aelric - 2010-08-12

Thus the unending enigma of the internet. That said, I'm still right.

memedumpster - 2010-08-11

Five for GAMER RAGE and I haven't even watched the review.

FABIO - 2010-08-11

What percentage of people actually watch Yhatzee for an informed purchase decision?

I assume the majority just watch to be entertained, and don't take his final opinions nearly as seriously as the people freaking out that everyone takes his opinions seriously.

FABIO - 2010-08-11

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RocketBlender - 2010-08-12

You pretty much nailed it. Also, I wish I had saved my stars for this. There's something about The Escapist that makes it suck. Hard.

poorwill - 2010-08-11

I liked SotC a lot, even tho it made me physically ill to play it.

Yahtzee can be funny and all, but he has some busted ideals that make him a shitty critic. How else could he rate Silent Hill 2 as one of his favourite games ever? What a piece of shit that was.

fourthguy - 2010-08-12

He likes Silent Hill 2 because he irrationally favors games that are either well-written or unique and artsy. He doesn't really seem to consider gameplay all that much.

But yeah, just because I disagree with him often doesn't make him any less funny.

oddeye - 2010-08-12

He doesn't know shit about videogames, lets be honest here. For example he doesn't like Planescape: Torment.

Sputum - 2010-08-12

This is why he refers to himself as a critic rather than a reviewer. While I share his preference for unique and artsy fartsy games, most people prefer the grind/hack/twitch sorts and he can't be bothered to take that into consideration.

While I like Starcraft 2, Yahtzee would hate it and that is okay with me.

Riskbreaker - 2010-08-12

Silent Hill 2 is a fantastic game. Every game in existance doesn't need to be a FPS or RTS or whatever nerdy trend is popular these days.

poorwill - 2010-08-12

In the same post that I said I hated Silent Hill 2, I said I like Shadow of the Colossus, so obv. that's not the problem, dingus.

poorwill - 2010-08-12

Sorry I called you a dingus.

Hooker - 2010-08-12

I love the bitter disillusionment poeTV has taken towards Zero Punctuation. That's my favourite part of these submissions. I mean, complaints about him just being a shtick sort-of ring a bit hollow when they only crop up after fifty-or-so entries, don't they?

kingarthur - 2010-08-12

I don't play vidya games and I enjoy Yahtzee.

Unmerciful Crushing Force - 2010-08-12

Same here. Although I think I'll need to dust off the PS2 and buy a used copy of this thing.

Squeamish - 2010-08-12

I laughed.

pineapplejuicer - 2010-08-12

i still like yahtzee. and i still love this game, if for nothing else than the fact that it told an amazing story without using any words. there's a high-def remake coming out for the ps3 next year which was one of the reasons i finally caved and bought one

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