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Desc:I can't pick a single line to quote here. You have to hear it to believe it.
Category:News & Politics, Video Games
Tags:glenn beck, angry birds, Republican Birds, Racist Birds
Submitted:RocketBlender
Date:07/28/11
Views:1460
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Comment count is 23
Dread Pirate Roberts
I'll start here...

"It's not just a game..."
CJH
Leave it to Glenn to completely fuck up his analogy. Listen, Angry Birds is a metaphor for the inevitable proletariat uprising against the powerful ruling class (pigs) who steal the fruits of our labor and retreat to their comfortable, well built mansions to feast on said fruits. Is it any coincidence that the initial birds you start the game with are red, indicating that the first blows in this campaign to take back what is rightfully ours will be struck by the true students of Marx and Lenin? Also notice the color of the other birds that eventually join the battle for social and economic justice: yellow, white, black all coming together in racial harmony to strike back at the conniving capitalist oinkers. One can only assume the blue birds represent the young democrats, using the internet and social technology to multiply the effects of their efforts. Notice the tactics used by the other birds as well: the game puts forth the idea that self-sacrifice (black birds) and the loss of your own offspring (white birds) may very well be what is need to prove your dedication to the cause, and to eventually ensure victory. This is all very obvious from playing the game for just a few minutes, and I'm sure to most among us this is old news, but I felt Beck's ridiculous interpretation needed some form of sane counterpoint.
dek863
I'd buy it.

DerangedGoblin
Except... Angry Birds is a Finnish game... I don't think they care about American democrats...

spiteful crow
As an angry bird myself, I am offended.
Koda Maja
Would this make any more sense if I had ever played Angry Birds?

SolRo
it would clarify the level of insanity

CornOnTheCabre
Glenn Beck certainly has a way with analogies. He's like... a thing that doesn't make them very well.
augias
An autist?

cognitivedissonance
Well, it's obvious he's a Zombie vs. Plants guy, which explains the premium emergency seed buckets he sells in his commercial breaks.
MacGyver Style Bomb
Funny, an Angry Birds analogy was used by opponents of Ohio SB 5.
Meerkat
So the pigs rounded up and killed the jews? That doesn't seem like a good idea, jews can't eat pork. It would be much more beneficial to the pigs to round up the non-jews that eat pork and then give their money to the jews to keep them quiet.
voodoo_pork
This was weirdly entertaining. This would be comedy gold if I thought he wasn't fucking serious.

Can he seriously not go 5 fucking goddamn minutes without making a Nazi reference? Is it possible for him?
Mother_Puncher
Imagine if you will an image of a beehive. But not just any beehive, it's Glenn Beck's brain. Now imagine thousands of bees swarming around this beehive. Can you see it in your mind? But there is a problem with this behive; there are only 5 holes. Yes, this beehive works like a cheap motel only there are thousands of people trying to get in. When a bee goes in, it triggers something depending on the hole it enters and only one hole can be occupied at a time going clockwise starting with hole #1. A bee goes in hole number one, he bashes liberals. Hole number two is something off the wall crazy and makes no sense. Hole number three is crying about the safety of his country. Hole four is a nazi reference and hole five is telling you to worry about ______. In his normal train of thought, the bees are orderly and at a pace. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. But sometimes the bees get pissed when he gets pissed and they start swarming like mad! 123451234512345. And sometimes bees get stuck in one hole for a long time. This is when he goes off on fits of linear stupidity. Sometimes the bees are going so fast, 2 accidentally go in different holes at the same time which makes him form conclusions of insane scenarios that have no factual or logical basis. This is Glenn Beck's brain. It is like watching a stupid analogy being played out before you.

cognitivedissonance
Imagine this beehive is the one on the Utah state flag.

Robin Kestrel
He has a good radio voice. Maybe he thinks he can say crazier shit if people aren't actually looking at him.
fedex
'cuz its like being

I N V I S I B L E

The Snickler
I am sorry I missed that major speech. It sounds like it was a really major speech, I mean there were a whole 5000 people there to here him, it was the Christians United for Israel! He was the KEY NOTE SPEAKER FOR GOD SAKES!
Xenocide
Paying taxes = having your unborn children stolen away in the night by hideous unearthly swine-men.
SolRo
Insomnia has given me a stupid idea.

Since there are no female Angry Birds, and we are to assume the eggs are baby birds, does this mean beck is supporting gay adoption?

Or that he's at least against idiotic swine depriving the right of the gay birds to raise the baby?
zerobackup
Glen Beck has the kind of face everyone wants to punch
Jet Bin Fever
I'm going to show this to my girlfriend to fix her of her addiction to Angry Birds. I think only her hatred of Glenn Beck could do that.
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