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Comment count is 37
dementomstie - 2012-07-11

I couldn't find a way to embed this. If anyone can figure out how to do that I'd be fine with it being resubmitted as a short cut.

chumbucket - 2012-07-11

OK now I need to make a list of 90's movies with magical black people.

jangbones - 2012-07-12

besides the ones mentioned, Shawshank Redemption and Hudsucker Proxy

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

I know it's not a 90s movie, but the 2008 election comes to mind.

Jane Error - 2012-07-12

I disagree about Shawshank. In fact, I'd say it's a clever reversal of the trope.

citrusmirakel - 2012-07-11

Maybe this is pedantic of me, but I have to subtract a star because Patton Oswalt should know how the word "literally" works.

Hooker - 2012-07-12

You were right. That is pedantic of you.

Aubrey McFate - 2012-07-12

Also, you're wrong. He says you perform there "literally LIKE a goblin", referring to how you're performing under the stairs like a creature that would lurk under there. Like a goblin.

Pedantry is hard work. Don't try it if you can't play.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

To quote Philip J Fry, your pedantic attitude makes me literally "angry with rage".

citrusmirakel - 2012-07-12

No, you're wrong! You can't use the word "literally" in a simile. The moon cannot hit your eye literally like a pizza. Likewise, he was performing under the staircase, the goblin simile is already tenuous since goblins aren't known to do stand up comedy in hotels, and if you think literally gets to be used as an intensifier, then you are bad at English.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

I love misuses of the word "literally", since they are so numerous and so often evoke an absurd image, and because even smart people do this. I remember Al Franken talking about how some Republican had "literally shifted 180 degrees", which was supposed to mean that he had changed his position, but what that means was that he was physically facing one direction , e.g. north, and then shifted to the opposite direction, e.g. south.

Usually , it happens when someone means "really" and combines it with a metaphor, usually one that is so deeply ingrained that you don't even think of it as a metaphor, like "180 degrees".

A simile can be literal, as long as it's literal. I can say that my sunburn is "literally as red as a lobster", if my skin is really that color, and even if it isn't, that's more of a factual inaccuracy than a misuse of the word.

I'm not familiar with the mythology, but if a real goblin would really dwell under the stairs, Oswalt gets it right. Whether a Goblin would do a comedy routine is not relevant since this is not the point he's making.

I don't think citrusmirakel was be all that pedantic, except for being wrong. Although it's true that "The moon cannot hit your eye literally like a pizza. " I'll give you that one.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

Okay, I just watched it again. He says "You were performing literally under the stairs like a goblin".

The proximity of "literally" to the verb "performing" does make it kind of shaky, but I don't think it's a classic misuse of the word so much as an awkward sentence construction.

Still, I no longer think ctrusmirakel was exactly wrong, Pedantic? Oh my yes.

Bort - 2012-07-12

I have given this far more thought than any reasonable person would, and I cannot think of any folk creature that lives specifically under stairs. Wikipedia is at a loss too:


So here are non-folk-creatures that possibly would make for a good literal simile here:

- the pet dragon from "The Addams Family"

- Batman hiding from Gotham SWAT troops in "Batman: Year One"

- Batman contemplating the seven working defenses available to him in "Batman: The Dark Knight Returns"

Dammit Patton, for once you had a real opportunity to liken yourself to Batman, and you blew it.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

Not to get pedantic, but that pet dragon was from "The Munsters"

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

Well, according to Amazon, there's a children's book called "The Goblin Under the Stairs" by Mary Calhoun. That's good enough for me.

Bort - 2012-07-12

God damn it, I am literally ashamed with shame.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

^^Nicely done.

Baldr - 2012-07-12

This is why I'm afraid to talk to people. If you misuse a single word or put it in the wrong spot they decide you're a terrible person.

It's so random.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

Are you sure it isn't because we're insufferably dull grammar geeks? That would make more sense.

Aubrey McFate - 2012-07-13

Look at all the words saying I'm right and Citrus is wrong. That's nice.

CornOnTheCabre - 2012-07-11

Digging this concept hard, especially if they get someone like Neil Hamburger to fess up.

RockBolt - 2012-07-12


William Topaz McGonagall - 2012-07-12

I wanna hear his bit about the artificial butter flavoring on popcorn. It would be pretty fascinating at this point.

Chalkdust - 2012-07-13

that could be a whole other show... successful comedians dragging out material they cut their teeth on and see how it flies now

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

He must have been so disappointed! A Comedy club named Sir Laffsalot must have sounded like it should have been much better than this.

Quad9Damage - 2012-07-12

I loved the Magical Black Man Music.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

I think Patton Oswalt is awesome, so much smarter and funnier than the average comedian. I'm saying this because it's true, and also because I'm looking forward to having my "Patton Oswalt fetish" outlandishly mocked during my next flame war at Bo News.

Hooker - 2012-07-12

People love it when others talk about themselves. Keep talking about yourself.

Wander - 2012-07-12

haha, you posted this many times on this video as an outlet from being teased at another website.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

I notice that YOU like to talk about me, Hooker.

Hooker - 2012-07-12

I find you horrible. People talk about horrible people. This shouldn't come as a surprise to someone that posts on a Portal of Evil site.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

I don't care.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-13

Actually, it's the other way around. If POE has taught me anything, it's that horrible people talk about other people.

CornOnTheCabre - 2012-07-13

naw it's both

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-12

Posting on a website as an outlet from being teased at another website? Sounds like a dangerous game.

Chalkdust - 2012-07-13

turns out the most dangerous game is


an eagle-shark-lion or something

Bort - 2013-10-14


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