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Comment count is 32
Oscar Wildcat - 2013-02-13

It's like he's sitting in his den making a youtube clip.

The Mothership - 2013-02-13

I'm so glad I wasn't the only person to notice that this evening. what a fucking joke.

chumbucket - 2013-02-13

I made an effort to turn my tv off before this response thing even started. I can't understand why a polarizing "response" like these are at all helpful to be televised directly after the Of The UNION address anyway.

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-02-13

I can't decide if I like this or the Bobby Jindal creepy walk to the podium better.
Silliness aside, after Obama laying down so many specifics tonight, it is amazing that the Republicans still rely on these rhetorical generalizations. Its like the Phil Hartman Frankenstein repeating, "Government bad!" "Business good!" We've been through this same old song and dance for years. I thought Rubio was supposed to get those pendulous Republi-boners up again. But, I guess not.

Cena_mark - 2013-02-13

Its a powerful dogma. It makes perfect sense as long as you don't look into it. St. Reagan said it, therefore it is the truth!

Aelric - 2013-02-13

Except half the time Reagan didn't actually say it, they just wish claim he did.

StanleyPain - 2013-02-13

*sigh* So THIS is the guy the GOP is all fluttery in the heart for to run for pres in 2016?

Cena_mark - 2013-02-13

Blasphemy!!! St. Ronnie said it all and was directly given the revelations from GOD!

SolRo - 2013-02-13

Gays are a sin, it says so in the Reaganomicon!

Paracelsus - 2013-02-13

Yep, the standard of wunderkind has gone down several notches, and this one and Jindal fight over it, which is as far as the whole Republican party has gone in acknowledging the need for a younger demographic. As clueless as he is, if he runs against Hillary, he wins.

Caminante Nocturno - 2013-02-13

"As clueless as he is, if he runs against Hillary, he wins."

That's a funny thing to write. You're a funny guy, Paracelsus.

Senator_Unger - 2013-02-14

You forgot the "s" in that third "he."

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-02-14

Bobby Jindal fer shure! I had this whole thing worked out in my mind where we were in a mortuary, and Jindal had come out of the embalming room to greet new customers. Perfect!

cognitivedissonance - 2013-02-13

He somehow figured out a way to come off as more sanctimonious than Santorum. And that's a feat.

His inevitable underage gay sex scandal will be delicious beyond words. Not even the very handmade fudge of Buddha himself, packaged in the silkiest of ephemeral cloths, woven from the laughter of children will be so sweet.

Xenocide - 2013-02-13

This isn't even the funniest part. That would be his opening line, where he basically said, "America is BEST, because we're the only country where you can make money, and we love babies instead of murdering them constantly! My mom is cool! Hi mom!"

memedumpster - 2013-02-13

Every Republican on earth is a justification for a cyclopian tower of iron being driven into our sun by alien vampire hunters, splattering it across the galaxy and us with it.

fatatty - 2013-02-13

At least he made sure not to lose eye contact with the audience. I believe a "Nailed it" is in order.

spikestoyiu - 2013-02-13


SolRo - 2013-02-13

"Excuse me, I just needed to get the taste of cock out of my mouth"

Void 71 - 2013-02-13

So the Republicans think they'll secure the Mexican vote with an affluent mineral-water-sipping white hispanic? Time to carve the tombstone.

Cena_mark - 2013-02-13

I'll bet he gets as many Latino votes as Alan Keys got black votes.

baleen - 2013-02-13

He should be doubly ashamed, first for claiming that his parents were anti-Castro Cubans who immigrated in 1959 (they actually immigrated years earlier, before Castro was even in Cuba), and for actually defending the puppet dictator, Batista.

Void 71 - 2013-02-13

I don't know much about the guy, but my gut feeling is that he comes from a long line of rich ruling class Spaniards who exploited South America until the well ran dry.

Senator_Unger - 2013-02-14

Nuh-uh! He said he still lives in the same working-class neighborhood he grew up in! Just in a house he is trying to sell for 0,000 so he can move to D.C.

Cena_mark - 2013-02-14

You can't stop Batista, he's the animal!

Riskbreaker - 2013-02-13

"Maybe drinking infront of the camera will help to convince the humans that i'm one of them."

jangbones - 2013-02-13

from writer Mobutu Sese Seko;

"The bottled water moment offered the D.C. commentariat the worst kind of low-hanging fruit, yielding a ton of easy jokes and no actual thinking. "GAFFE BAD," screamed Beltway Twitter, before stalking off on the unbent Frankenstein legs of a creature that just took a lightning bolt to the head. For a political class demanding substance instead of shallow observation, it giddily embraced the latter, even nonsensically. Leaving aside that this was Rubio's big test, his big moment, the unofficial kickoff to his 2016, the man got cottonmouth—big deal. If you insist on hammering him on the basis of "optics," maybe focus on the fact that he spent 10 minutes reading a recycled 2012 Paul Ryan stump speech while threatening to weep at America until it rescued itself."

themilkshark - 2013-02-13

Someone described the "bottled water moment" to me, but when I watched this I felt like nothing could have prepared me for the awkwardness. The size of the water bottle is honestly the funniest part.

I'm very much a Democrat, partly due to upbringing and mostly because of personal opinion. That being said, I love democracy and I think it should be fair. If I were a conservative, I'd feel totally slighted by the GOP. Rubio's candidacy qualifications are merely his youth, his charisma and his ethnicity, which is most likely the most important factor to Republicans.

FABIO - 2013-02-14


Bort - 2013-02-14

Trying to capture the elusive Jesse Pinkman vote.

Robin Kestrel - 2013-02-14

Can they see me now? Okay, how about now?

oddeye - 2014-02-13

Fuck man, just suffer a dry mouth for your stupid speech or balls up and say excuse me then take a good drink, not this awkward half-way "hope they don't notice" clown act.

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