It's like he's sitting in his den making a youtube clip.

I'm so glad I wasn't the only person to notice that this evening. what a fucking joke.

I can't decide if I like this or the Bobby Jindal creepy walk to the podium better.
Silliness aside, after Obama laying down so many specifics tonight, it is amazing that the Republicans still rely on these rhetorical generalizations. Its like the Phil Hartman Frankenstein repeating, "Government bad!" "Business good!" We've been through this same old song and dance for years. I thought Rubio was supposed to get those pendulous Republi-boners up again. But, I guess not.

He somehow figured out a way to come off as more sanctimonious than Santorum. And that's a feat.

His inevitable underage gay sex scandal will be delicious beyond words. Not even the very handmade fudge of Buddha himself, packaged in the silkiest of ephemeral cloths, woven from the laughter of children will be so sweet.

This isn't even the funniest part. That would be his opening line, where he basically said, "America is BEST, because we're the only country where you can make money, and we love babies instead of murdering them constantly! My mom is cool! Hi mom!"

Every Republican on earth is a justification for a cyclopian tower of iron being driven into our sun by alien vampire hunters, splattering it across the galaxy and us with it.

At least he made sure not to lose eye contact with the audience. I believe a "Nailed it" is in order.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=G9uI_kIP3Ys

"Excuse me, I just needed to get the taste of cock out of my mouth"

So the Republicans think they'll secure the Mexican vote with an affluent mineral-water-sipping white hispanic? Time to carve the tombstone.

"Maybe drinking infront of the camera will help to convince the humans that i'm one of them."

from writer Mobutu Sese Seko;

"The bottled water moment offered the D.C. commentariat the worst kind of low-hanging fruit, yielding a ton of easy jokes and no actual thinking. "GAFFE BAD," screamed Beltway Twitter, before stalking off on the unbent Frankenstein legs of a creature that just took a lightning bolt to the head. For a political class demanding substance instead of shallow observation, it giddily embraced the latter, even nonsensically. Leaving aside that this was Rubio's big test, his big moment, the unofficial kickoff to his 2016, the man got cottonmouth—big deal. If you insist on hammering him on the basis of "optics," maybe focus on the fact that he spent 10 minutes reading a recycled 2012 Paul Ryan stump speech while threatening to weep at America until it rescued itself."

Someone described the "bottled water moment" to me, but when I watched this I felt like nothing could have prepared me for the awkwardness. The size of the water bottle is honestly the funniest part.

I'm very much a Democrat, partly due to upbringing and mostly because of personal opinion. That being said, I love democracy and I think it should be fair. If I were a conservative, I'd feel totally slighted by the GOP. Rubio's candidacy qualifications are merely his youth, his charisma and his ethnicity, which is most likely the most important factor to Republicans.

Trying to capture the elusive Jesse Pinkman vote.

Can they see me now? Okay, how about now?

Fuck man, just suffer a dry mouth for your stupid speech or balls up and say excuse me then take a good drink, not this awkward half-way "hope they don't notice" clown act.