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Comment count is 31
The Mothership - 2014-09-07

Loss prevention dudes better realize that they can get a whole lot worse than stabbed or bitten if they are going to try to act like the muthafuckin' swat team.

When did plainclothes security guards get the power to physically detain?

The Mothership - 2014-09-07

Also this is disgusting. All this trouble for some shit from Wallmart. 5 stars.

infinite zest - 2014-09-07

Fuck. The local supermarket chain where I live has a pretty stringent rule: "walk out of the store with unpaid merchandise and we catch you, next time you're in here we have the right to call the cops for trespassing. Give back what you took or pay for it and feel free to shop at one of our other locations." it's pretty cut and dry. I was at said store the other day and a woman got busted for shoplifting and the employees brought her out food and water. This really fucking makes me sick. He could have stolen the entire store. Nobody deserves this.

oddeye - 2014-09-07

They spend 99.9% of their job watching people do fuck all interesting, give them their glorious moment they have always dreamed of.

That golden sweet moment crystallized in time. Eternities spent held back, straining at the chains creation has shackled them with since before conception; at last unleashed! Every "poor" choice they have made, every "wrong" path they picked, all of them, every single one of them suddenly justified in the eyes of Saints and Gods. Forever will these actions be deemed correct and they shall at last be ACCEPTED. May they mandate mercy and justice when they have been given neither.

That night Fatty Redshirt's ejaculation was akin to the creation of a new universe, so profound in it's intensity. Then he simply stopped living, complete.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-09-08

Really, it strikes me as odd to see this happen. Usually, insurance and price increases (fractions of a cent, but it adds up) covers theft handily, and paying people to physically stop and/or subdue shoplifters was deemed as just opening up an expensive avenue for lawsuits from said shoplifting suspects.

A friend of mine worked in a mall and was told by the girls working at Old Navy that they were instructed to, at most, note that a customer hadn't paid for something they were leaving the store with. Then they usually had to endure the abuse from these same criminal masterminds trying to "return" things for cash or store credit without a receipt. It was from this group of lowlives that I gained my knee-jerk reaction to suspect anyone who used the term "haters." As in, "Those haters won't give me money for this stuff I can't prove I bought. They're just haters."

infinite zest - 2014-09-08

This whole concept is new to me. Not that I would, but if I was absolutely starving I might take a loaf of bread, like Jean Veljean. If I had babies I might try to lift a thing of Huggies. I think about those things when I'm in a supermarket, which is rare, because I live by a little co-op and prefer that. A friend of mine was telling me how he likes to go into safeway and use their salad bar, eat the food in store, while talking to the security guards asking if stealing is a problem. Thing is, I always notice a nametag. Something to say "I am the law here." Do these plainclothes "cops" ever encourage theft in an effort to boost their rank/quota? I could see shopping in one of these big stores, so big that I could probably make a friend while inside, looking at something I couldn't afford, and the guy saying "yeah man just do it. It's a big store and nobody will notice."

infinite zest - 2014-09-08

I mean, imagine an undercover cop drinking soda water at a bar doing a DUI sting. He's your friend for an hour and encourages you to drink more and becomes your friend and then busts you for being over the limit when you try to enter your vehicle. That's entrapment and is against the law. I work doors at shows and I don't have to wear a nametag, but I don't have the authority to put my hands on someone. The people that do, well it's pretty fucking obvious that they're bouncers. Security with force should always be required to dress as such. I don't care what this guy was on or what he attempted to steal. It's just incredibly wrong.

Spaceman Africa - 2014-09-07

It's nice to see my shitty hometown has finally become a linked tag.

BorrowedSolution - 2014-09-07

Deadmonton! Methmonton!

Spaceman Africa - 2014-09-07

Was the meth problem really that bad? I always thought that was more St Albert's problem.

infinite zest - 2014-09-07


But it's a good song at least?

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-09-07

NWH say, Fuck the security guards, he ain't a cop but he still like to act hard.

glasseye - 2014-09-07

Thinking of shoplifting in Canada? Prepare to lose a few teeth.

Hooker - 2014-09-07

I saw two Future Shop (Canadian Best Buy) employees beating the shit out of a shoplifter at the Granville and Robson location (Vancouver's busiest pedestrian intersection). It just baffled and kind of terrified me that it was happening. People all around the event were losing their minds screaming at everyone involved. I just couldn't figure out why those guys would do it. Loyalty to a massive electronics retailer? Lust for violence? Outrageous sense of justice? I would have just let the guy walk out of the store.

memedumpster - 2014-09-07

Jesus, where I live they can't even force you to let them check your bag on the way out. They can tell you to let them, but you can say, olde-literally "fuck off" and they cannot do shit.

infinite zest - 2014-09-08

This is fucking bullshit. I chased down a guy on my first day of work because he stole maybe a buck's worth of blunt wraps. I guess I wanted to impress my boss. I caught up to him and took back the merch, and told him to run. I would've done the same if it was a big screen tv or a car.

sasazuka - 2014-09-07

I'm just wondering, can the shoplifter sue the store for personal injury? I'm all for stopping shoplifters, but it seems like the LPO crossed the line when the shoplifter's head started bleeding.

oddeye - 2014-09-07

I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure you aren't allowed to break someone's face on the ground and cuff them up for stealing a pair of socks or whatever. In the civilised world, anyway.

He did try to "stab" one and/or bite one or something so maybe they are alright to kick his ass a little.

oddeye - 2014-09-07

Actually I'm wrong, probably because I'm not an expert.

EvilHomer - 2014-09-08

Well, bouncers can be, and often are, sued over similar situations. Loss prevention guys are basically kiddie-pool bouncers, so yes, yes they could get sued.

Source: I am a bouncer.

Chancho - 2014-09-07

EDMONTON ó An Edmonton man faces assault charges after an altercation with two Walmart loss prevention officers last week, which a witness filmed and has since gone viral.

The video, posted Sept. 1 on LiveLeak.com, has received over 160,000 views. It shows two male loss prevention officers wrestling with a man outside the west-end store.

In the video, a utility knife can be seen hitting the ground as the officers grapple with the suspect. Eventually, the officers are able to get the suspect down to the ground and handcuff him. Punches are thrown and blood can be seen on the suspectís face and on the pavement.

Edmonton police confirm they responded to an attempted theft call on Aug. 28 around 8 p.m.

Jeremy Garnhum, 26, is charged with assault with a weapon, assault to overcome arrest, theft under ,000, possession of a weapon dangerous to the public, and two charges of breach of recognizance.

No charges have been laid against the two loss prevention officers. Police continue to investigate.


Loss prevention officers are licenced by the province and governed by the Criminal Code, which allows them to arrest without a warrant.

In a release, Wal-Mart said it is concerned for the safety of its customers and associates and is reviewing processes to ensure safety.

The man arrested has a criminal history that includes several charges of shoplifting, theft and fraud, as well as uttering a forged document.

oddeye - 2014-09-07

What madness is this? A security guard is allowed to arrest you without a warrant?

sasazuka - 2014-09-07

Ah, I see, he was (lightly) armed. I suppose the adrenaline escalated the situation sharply.

Thanks for posting the article.

Chancho - 2014-09-07

Arrest without warrant by any person

494. (1) Any one may arrest without warrant

(a) a person whom he finds committing an indictable offence; or

(b) a person who, on reasonable grounds, he believes

(i) has committed a criminal offence, and

(ii) is escaping from and freshly pursued by persons who have lawful authority to arrest that person.
Marginal note:Arrest by owner, etc., of property

(2) The owner or a person in lawful possession of property, or a person authorized by the owner or by a person in lawful possession of property, may arrest a person without a warrant if they find them committing a criminal offence on or in relation to that property and

(a) they make the arrest at that time; or

(b) they make the arrest within a reasonable time after the offence is committed and they believe on reasonable grounds that it is not feasible in the circumstances for a peace officer to make the arrest.
Marginal note:Delivery to peace officer

(3) Any one other than a peace officer who arrests a person without warrant shall forthwith deliver the person to a peace officer.
Marginal note:For greater certainty

(4) For greater certainty, a person who is authorized to make an arrest under this section is a person who is authorized by law to do so for the purposes of section 25.

oddeye - 2014-09-07

How is that legal? The fuck is wrong with whatever place the laws you are quoting from originate?

memedumpster - 2014-09-07

Canada... this is your big bro, 'Murka... uhm..., are you okay, because you seem to be lashing out a lot lately. IIs it drugs? It's okay if it's drugs, we're hip, we got street and fly hop.

BorrowedSolution - 2014-09-08

If we don't keep up with your naked brutality we'll never survive when the Resource Wars start.

jaunch - 2014-09-08

We have a "Citizen's Arrest" in America too. You can detain someone you believe has committed a crime, until the cops show up. It's so you can tie up a burglar and not get in any trouble yourself for kidnapping or something.

Chancho - 2014-09-07

There's more, look up Citizen's Arrest and Self Defence Act of Canada.

It's dangerous for the citizen making the arrest because it exposes them to punishment (criminal charges, civil lawsuit) if they use excessive force.

jimmyboblahey - 2014-09-08

The new TPB is shaping up badass.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-09-08

So, in Canada, Walmart security, who are not police or any body of the law, is legally allowed to detained, handcuff, and beat the ever living shit out of you for shoplifting some cheap shit?

Five for evil. That is fucking frightening.

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