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Comment count is 31
Bort - 2015-10-04

When you make ten-year-olds start asking themselves "what have I been doing with my life?" you've either done a very good thing or a very bad thing.

Cena_mark - 2015-10-04

The horrified looks of the children make really make this video.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-10-04

The children.

EvilHomer - 2015-10-04

The children.

One of them looks horrified, one of them looks dumbfounded, and the last one looks sad, disappointed, and a little angry.

twinkieafternoon - 2015-10-04


urbanelf - 2015-10-05


EvilHomer - 2015-10-04

Of course, Mikey has the best line.

Mikey = Best Turtle. Discuss.

Bort - 2015-10-04

When you press Jump and Attack at the same time, Michelangelo / Donatello / Leonardo all just jump in the air and swing their weapons. This leaves them vulnerable to attacks from behind.

But with Raphael, he rolls forward and kicks, which not only protects him from short-range attacks from behind, it also usually takes his opponent by surprise. It also keeps him under the line of fire from Rocksteady's machine gun.

Kid Fenris - 2015-10-04

But Donatello had the longest reach! He could even cheat and beat both level-one bosses without getting hit!

On the other hand, that game sucked.

EvilHomer - 2015-10-04

Well, in the games, Kid Fenris is correct; Donatello is best turtle. But when I say "Mikey = Best Turtle", I mean he's the best in general, across all turtle media including the show, the reboots, films, games, and comic books.

EvilHomer - 2015-10-04

NOT including fan-fiction, of course. My OC turtle, Caravaggio, might be better than Mikey, but only by a little bit.

ashtar. - 2015-10-04


GTFO with your baroque bullcrap, turtles are strictly high renaissance.

Bort - 2015-10-04

I once beat the game in the arcade on just three quarters, playing Raphael. Beat my score or Raphael wins.

EvilHomer - 2015-10-04

>>GTFO with your baroque bullcrap, turtles are strictly high renaissance.

No, no, it's cool; he's from the second batch of turtles, hence why he's named after am early baroque artist, instead of a high renaissance one! He's a master of Tenebra-School Ninjitsu, which specializes in attacks utilizing light and shadow. His color is black, and his weapon is a kusarigama that has a lit Chinese lantern on the weighted end.

I didn't think of any personality traits for him, because I figured that wasn't important.

EvilHomer - 2015-10-04

His teammates are Rubens, a fat turtle, Monteverdi ("Monty"), a turtle who fights with a keytar, and Bloemaert, a turtle with a silly name.

Cena_mark - 2015-10-04

My Ninja Turtle OC is called Andy Warhol.

DriverStabby - 2015-10-04

I'm in favor of a fifth turtle called Filippo Lippi, who wears a mauve mask and fucks a lot.

magnesium - 2015-10-04

I.... don't know if this trumps the Vanilla Ice musical number in the second film. Maybe?

BillLumbergh - 2015-10-04

i can't breathe

duck&cover - 2015-10-04

They have sex no matter what:


Old_Zircon - 2015-10-05


twinkieafternoon - 2015-10-04

How disillusioned a mom do you have to be to take your sons to an Oprah taping, promise of Turtles or no

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-10-04

a truly great moment in journalism history

mouser - 2015-10-04

For the kids

dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-10-04

The kids' faces. Jesus Christ.

This is perfect for all the wrong reasons.

Ugh - 2015-10-04

so this is what it feels like when doves cry

DriverStabby - 2015-10-04

Are Raph and Mike on meth?

chumbucket - 2015-10-05

Television directorial genius.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-10-06

Oh my god, to think I almost didn't click on this... Those kid's faces!! I feel like registering a sock puppet account just to give this five more stars!!

cognitivedissonance - 2015-10-15

FUN FACT: One of these turtles is Michael Ian Black.

Nominal - 2019-05-20

One of those videos where you swear the title is an exaggeration, but you walk away after in complete agreement.

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