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Desc:Joseph built them to store grain for 7 years, you see (That bit starts at 3:00)
Category:Religious, News & Politics
Tags:republicans, conservative comedy, ben carson, because god and the bible, GOP frontrunner ladies and gentlemen
Submitted:Killer Joe
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Comment count is 28
memedumpster - 2015-11-05

Monotone monophonic monotheistic monologue!

'it was okay to think that but he shouldnt have said it' would make a great tag for this. Either no one told the Egyptians why they built their own pyramids, or no one told Ben Carson the Egyptians could write and wrote down their own reasons for doing things.

BHWW - 2015-11-05

The lamestream science press would have you believe Trump Tower was built by Martians. My theory is that George Washington built the Tower for the storage of snow.

Cena_mark - 2015-11-05

I have no idea how this guy climbed the political ladder so quickly. Weren't the Republicans bitching about Obama's lack of experience 8 years ago? Now they're poised to elect a brainless brainsurgeon, a reality TV whore, and the lady who sank HP.

Anaxagoras - 2015-11-05

The first thing to remember about Republican justifications... in fact the *only* thing to remember about them, is that they're just words. Those aren't ever the real reasons that Republicans support or oppose a candidate. Rather, they're motivated completely by tribal politics. If he is not a member of our tribe, he (or she) is bad. If he is a member of our tribe, then he (or she) is good. It's just that simple.

Cena_mark - 2015-11-05

Over the years the right wing has become more and more anti-government, and now it appears political experience is now a detriment in the GOP race.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-05

The GOP is reaping what it has sown. I say this constantly. You can't build Frankenstein's monster and then be surprised when it runs amok. Establishment Republicans gradually encouraged extremism, thinking it was under their control, and then in 2010 lost several critical seats to the lunatic fringe because they'd using huge amount of money to brainwash voters into thinking AMERICA IS COLLAPSING UNLESS WE ALL PUT ON TRICORNER HATS AND COSPLAY THE REVOLUTION.

Well guess what? People actually believed it. And like a bad hangover, there's gonna be a period of puking, followed by slapping our own face and groaning "Fuuuuuck meeeeee" while laying in bed until 2 in the afternoon. Then, and only then, will we learn if we're an alcoholic that immediately supports another Carson, or a normal person that supports an Obama or Kasich.

ashtar. - 2015-11-05

Yep. The useful idiots have taken over the GOP. What's really worrying to me is that they're stuck in an epistemic isolation tank away from reality. The right has spent year creating an alternate reality so that inconvenient facts don't get in the way of ideology. Hence the ability for a real political candidate to say absurd crap and still be taken seriously.

I don't know that anything other than massive catastrophe will be able to pierce this. It'd have to be even worse than 2008. Maybe not even then. Hopefully most of the people in the alternate reality right are old and will die off?

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-05

The epistemic closure is actually very healthy, because in a cycle or two (local or, most likely, Presidential), the GOP will be forced to stare at the puddle of vomit it has created and seriously ask "What is wrong with me?" Every year they lose key voting blocs (Women, Hispanics, gays, young people, etc.), they will HAVE to ask "Why?" And then, they either adapt or lose.

The alternative is dragging this out for 30 years where a "reasonable" GOP keeps gaining and losing seats, but can still cling to its horrible positions. Which would you prefer? How fast do you want your Band-Aid off?

Void 71 - 2015-11-05

He climbed the ladder because the Republican establishment put all of their support behind him after Jeb shit the bed. They're doing whatever they can to suppress Trump at this point.

It almost feels like they don't give a shit about presidential elections anymore because they know they can't win. They just want to make sure whoever gets the nomination is a team player who won't negatively affect the congressional elections.

Cena_mark - 2015-11-06

Jeb shit the bed indead. Who the fuck was still thinking the Bush name wasn't a detriment? It seems even most Republicans seem to have come to terms that he left the economy in the gutter and the Iraq War was based on lies.

spikestoyiu - 2015-11-06

This really all started with Palin, which is incredible.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-06

I don't think Jeb wants to be President. At all. Strip away the novelty of the office by having your dad and brother as President, and what's left? A hellacious, low-paying office job where you are blamed for literally every problem on planet Earth. Why not just become a lobbyist or consultant or some other cushy, vague DC job instead?

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-06

CM: The following post is not from The Onion:

http://theweek.com/speedreads/587018/jeb-bush-just-told-bunch- kids-how-dad-sent-into-deep-spiraling-depression-days

That guy - 2015-11-05

..... I called this guy an intellectual lightweight, and my dad who is way too similar to him got really offended.

It's really tough being right all the time.

Anyway, death to star wars.

Two Jar Slave - 2015-11-05

The Death Star was used to store grain.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-11-05

And Darth Vader was a Jew!

Arcturus - 2015-11-05


Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-05

Good thing I'm a surgeon, because I can cut this short!

blue vein steel - 2015-11-05

what the fuck is he talking about

BHWW - 2015-11-05

99 pharaohs, 9 pyramids, 9 millions tons of grain. Can't you see it, whitey?

blue vein steel - 2015-11-06

Herman Cain would approve.

ashtar. - 2015-11-05

It sort of doesn't even need to be said, but the pyramids are pretty poorly designed to store grain. There's not a lot of space in there, it's not accessible, and what space there was was taken up with the dead pharaohs and their crap.

Wait... didn't The Pyramids wonder in Civ 2 put a granary in each of your cities? Is he making an argumentum ad Sid Meier?

Cena_mark - 2015-11-06

Well in step with Herman Cain who based his tax plan on Simcity.

Oscar Wildcat - 2015-11-06

I speculate that he draws this conclusion from his belief in Pyramid Power, a popular fad amongst hippies and new agers. Actually, this speech is about as appealing as I have seen him. His modern persona is just plain creepy.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-11-05

The great thing about a relationship with God is he doesn't bother you with all that science shit.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-06

And you can cut it short! Like by removing shins and attaching ankles to knees! Hi, I'm Ben Carson

Two Jar Slave - 2015-11-06

"Various scientists have said, well, you know, there were alien beings who came down and they had special knowledge. But it doesn't require an alien being when God is with you."

... Huh?

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-11-06

Ancient Alienology is a science, duh. Next thing you'll be scoffing at Elfologists. Geez, have some respect.

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