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Comment count is 43
dairyqueenlatifah - 2011-06-19

I really need to watch this movie someday.

Caminante Nocturno - 2011-06-19

Just a word of warning, this movie will destroy your ability to perceive time, to the point where it will feel like an eternity has passed since it started.

memedumpster - 2011-06-20

I love this movie so damned much.

freedoom - 2011-06-19

This is one of those movies i love to watch because it's so bad.

Old_Zircon - 2011-06-20

I expected to make it 30 minutes in but I was so riveted I watched the whole thing without even stopping to pee.

freedoom - 2011-06-20

This movie and Kevin Costner's The Postman both do that to me.

Caminante Nocturno - 2011-06-19

Every scene in this film is like someone standing on your brain at an awkward angle.

Jack Dalton - 2011-06-19

Brilliant description-- 5 stars

delicatessen - 2011-06-20

The angles are what keep me from making it through this movie. I keep tilting my head trying to fix what I'm seeing.

chumbucket - 2011-06-20

I didn't think you'd top your time description above. 5 for this.

Zarathustra00 - 2011-06-20

Battlefield Earth: Presented in Vincent D'Onofrio vision.

Mother_Puncher - 2011-06-19

I liked this movie a lot. It's like a USA mid-90s cartoon turned into a movie for adults. The awful lines, the bad acting, the "nobody who portrays a drunk person has ever actually been drunk" acting, the snot-nosed protagonists who always seem to escape the bad guys wrath and the 2 clunky bad guys who are evil but incompetent and kill everyone else except the ones that are the actual problem. The bad guys try to keep the man animals in check but are always slipping on banana peels or being tricked into thinking one of them is Johnny Bravo.

It's a mish-mash of themes and ideas spanning genres! Enemies with the intelligence of those in Bucky O'Hare, the drunk representation of Seventh Heaven's "A Very Special Episode" episode, the grit of Dinotopia, the dialogue from Yes, Dear put into the characters of Babylon 5, the camera work later used in Ultraviolet. All of this rolled into one a movie with 2 characters portrayed by actors who were chosen simply for their star power.

This. Is art.

StanleyPain - 2011-06-20

Actually the actors weren't so much "chosen" as they were people who helped financially back the film because they, themselves, are Scientologists. Almost every major role in the film is someone who is or was a church member.

Born in the RSR - 2011-06-20

Lest we forget the squishy science. Planet Psychlo is bathed in "flammable" radiation.

Mother_Puncher - 2011-06-20

You coulod suck all the magic out of Disney Land, StanleyPain. I always thought there was just some kind mysterious connection with the movie. Like something this bad with this many big stars just popped up out of nowhere and it was wretched. But I didn't know it was backed by the Scientology church and now it makes sense. Too much sense.

Old_Zircon - 2011-06-20

This is The Ten Commandments for Scientology.

dead_cat - 2011-06-20

Scientologists were the only reason this script ever saw film.

kingarthur - 2011-06-20

Forest Whitaker is a Scientologist. :(

exy - 2011-06-30

That Forest Whitaker appears to be a scientologist (by virtue of appearing here) was indeed the heartbreaking part of this clip. Five seconds on Google suggests that no one is really sure whether he is, but that "he hangs out with Travolta and Cruise a lot." So, yeah. AAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!

CJH - 2011-06-19

he sounds like Kevin Macdonald when he gets worked up

Senator_Unger - 2011-06-19

I watched this movie while I was home sick from school. I have forgotten almost all of it but I'm sure having a fevered brain helped me enjoy it.

stage - 2011-06-19

Funny, I saw this movie once when I was home sick from school too.

StanleyPain - 2011-06-19

It's terrible, but there's a weird, ethereal quality of awfulness to it.
I can't get over the plot device of the movie literally being that the villains are so stupid they essentially defeat themselves.

hammsangwich - 2011-06-20

I got really drunk one night and tried to watch this movie and couldn't get farther than 2 minutes, it was so unbelievably awful. I should have stuck with it, but I didn't realize Travolta did the Terl character with an English accent. (He didn't have one in the book. Yes I read the book.)

oswaldtheluckyrabbit - 2011-06-20

I threw up less than twenty minutes after watching this movie for the first time. I remember liquor, weird colors, Dutch angles.

thirteen3seven - 2011-06-20

I watched the DVD director's commentary, and he was adamant that dutch angles made everything more exciting.

Which is probably why he felt he had to keep the camera locked at 45.

(Bonus stars for Caminante's description, which is spot-on)

codehappy - 2011-06-20

As a side note, the Rifftrax for this film was wonderful.

Black Napkins - 2011-06-20

Oh god yes. It is fantastic.

Caminante Nocturno - 2011-06-20

This is true.

BHWW - 2011-06-20

As Bill Corbet put it during this scene "So, you're just going to go with this performance, huh?"

Black Napkins - 2011-06-20

The film adaptation of Mitt Romney's favorite book, ladies and gentlemen.

cognitivedissonance - 2011-06-20

Only because it plagiarized the good parts of Pearl of Great Price!

Innocent Bystander - 2011-06-20

To be fair, there's no way you can do a terse and dignified reading of a line like: "While you were still learning to spell your name, I was being trained... TO CONQUER GALAXIES!"

spikestoyiu - 2011-06-20

I had to drag a buddy of mine to the theater to see this. The movie had already been out for a week or two, so I was convinced we'd be the only ones there, but there was just one other lone moviegoer in the theater with us. I don't think they enjoyed it as much as we did.

I probably need to watch it again.

Also, is the bartender Chris Kattan?

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2011-06-20

I think we need a Battlefield Earth week.

charmlessman - 2011-06-20

I knew a guy who went to the theater to see this. When he put his cash down on the counter and said, "One for Battlefield Earth please," the woman slid his cash back and said, "No." People had been demanding their money back all day, and she spared him the pain.

Rudy - 2011-06-20

I want this story to be real so bad but I have a hard time believing anybody went and saw "Battlefield Earth" in a theater.

spikestoyiu - 2011-06-20

"I had to drag a buddy of mine to the theater to see this."

Two comments above.

charmlessman - 2011-06-23

When I slid my cash across the counter, the ticket guy wasn't so nice. I saw this in the theater.

Honkykong - 2011-06-21

The register his voice reaches at "spell your name!" never fails to put a the goofiest of grins on my face.

Squeamish - 2011-07-08

Yeah, that's what always does it for me, too. It's like someone's poking him in the back with a cattle prod at that very moment.

Billy the Poet - 2011-06-24

You've made me as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of kerbango.

Riskbreaker - 2012-06-19

I still like to think that the people who made this thing are proud of it, really really proud.

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